Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
