CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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