So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
