You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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