there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
