508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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