drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize