So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize