why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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