Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just found puke in my bra..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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