Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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