Just fell off a train. Bad.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
