hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im six kinds of drunk right now
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
