so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
