White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
