I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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