I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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