I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
