No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
