I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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