i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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