Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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