I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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