he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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