Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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