To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
