i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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