just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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