When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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