Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.