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I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
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