and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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