So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dear god my vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
