I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize