if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize