me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
