I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
