That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
