ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
