I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
