He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can feel your judgement through the phone
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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