i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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