She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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