you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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