And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
