I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
