Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
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My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
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Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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