so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize