Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There r osticjed everywhere
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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