I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
