If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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