he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
