My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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