I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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