angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
