Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
