i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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