this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
