we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
