I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
