hell yes lets make some ravioli
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
