it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Drake has all the answers
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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