and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
