he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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