i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
